plz talk dirty to me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize