Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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