: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
