So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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