It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
