Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need a beard to bite.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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