I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
