my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
