Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
