Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
