He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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