I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
