So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The adults are the big ones right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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