Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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