I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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