I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
