PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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