im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
