I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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