is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
