Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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