I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
