She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
