whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
