she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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