Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My bed smells like the plague
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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