butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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