omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
