things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
