I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
