so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
