I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
