You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
