I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can I color on your dick again?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
