I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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