i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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