2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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