i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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