That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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