so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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