Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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