Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
