I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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