i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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