I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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