it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
