how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
