Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
