best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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