God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
