Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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