After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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