so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
