umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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