I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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