I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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