Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
