im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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