Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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